for Nick

Floorist · Oct 23, 2017

A man and his wife are playing the 5th hole at their club when he slices his drive so far to the right it rolls into an equipment barn. He finds the ball and plans to take a drop when she says, "Let me go down to the other end of the barn and hold the door open. Then you can hit your ball through the door and back to the fairway. See, you can see the flagstick through the door"

He thinks this is a good idea, so she holds the door. He takes a big swing, but rather than flying through the door, the ball hits her in the head and kills her.

A year later, the same man and his new bride are playing the same hole when he again slices the ball into the shed. He finds it and plans to take an unplayable lie when she says, "Let me go down to the other end of the barn and hold the door open. Then you can hit your ball through the door and back to the fairway. See, you can see the flagstick through the door"

He looks at her, shakes his head, and explains, "No way. That brings back too many bad memories, then relates the story. The new bride is sympathetic and attempts to console him saying, "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize, It must have been really bad for you."

The man said, "Yeah, the last time I tried that, I took a triple bogey on this hole!"

Nick · Oct 23, 2017

Great minds think a like ..

Floorist · Nov 8, 2017

While golfing, I took a quick turn to avoid hitting a chuck hole, and accidentally overturned my golf cart.
A very beautiful and attractive golfer, who lived right there on the edge of the golf course, heard the noise, came running out of her villa and shouted, "Are you okay?"
As I looked up I noticed she was wearing only a silky see through bath robe which was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a VERY nice figure.
"I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself out from under the twisted cart.
She said, " Please follow me to my villa so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head, then you can rest a while, and I'll help you upright the cart later."
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come on now," she insisted. "We need to see if you have any more scrapes and treat them if so." Well, after all, she was really pretty, and very, very persuasive.
Being sort of shaken and weak, I finally agreed, but repeated,
"I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We walked to her place just 100 yards away, and after a couple of Scotch and waters and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset, so I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall even more open. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything, and by the way, where is she?"
I replied, "Still under the cart, I guess."