He can sing That's a fact!
Everyone has a sad story to tell these days. Hell you never hear me complain about my sad story.
I was raised by a three-legged wolf in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains until one day mom didn't return home to bring me my daily opossum meal so I then had to fend for myself. While out foraging for food one day I found mom who had been shot by a rancher, I'm sure while she was attempting to hunt me down a meal. So then I had to go to town and eat from dumpsters which is also where I found my warm clothes for the cold winters. Summers where just as bad because I had to compete with the grizzly bears for food and I had to (on occasion) fight off a grizzly so I could have some fresh elk meat. In the winter it was back to the dumpsters and sleeping under a town bridge where I was scorned by locals and the teenagers threw empty tin cans at me and tried to piss on me from atop the bridge. They were constantly putting out my campfire that I used to cook elk meat and used for warmth on the chilly mountain nights.
Then finally one day a carpet store owner found me under the bridge where he was disposing of some old carpet and offered me a job as a security guard for his carpet warehouse where he let me sleep on the carpet rolls at night. It was heaven. Warm in the winter and cool in the summer. He brought me table-scraps from his home and I wasn't hungry again for a long time until he made me a tile installer.
One thing led to another and I started installing tile on my own regularly competing with the area illegals and I have been hungry ever since.
PLEASE HELP ME!