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AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST
PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown
Savannah night before last.
Date: 2017-01-17, 1:43 am. ES.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled

the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when

I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .
She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head .. isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants.

I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again).
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of

what you'd done.
Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet.

[That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the

windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning

President Trump as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution

is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen
to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,

Semper fi,
Alex
 
KANSAS CITY, Missouri --
The Kansas City Chiefs released running back Kareem Hunt on Friday night after video surfaced that showed the NFL's reigning rushing champion knocking over and kicking a woman in a Cleveland hotel hallway in February.

The team issued a statement shortly after the NFL had placed Hunt on its Commissioner Exemption List that said the running back had lied when asked about the incident by team officials. The team said "the video today confirms that fact. We are releasing Kareem immediately."
 
KANSAS CITY, Missouri --
The Kansas City Chiefs released running back Kareem Hunt on Friday night after video surfaced that showed the NFL's reigning rushing champion knocking over and kicking a woman in a Cleveland hotel hallway in February.

The team issued a statement shortly after the NFL had placed Hunt on its Commissioner Exemption List that said the running back had lied when asked about the incident by team officials. The team said "the video today confirms that fact. We are releasing Kareem immediately."
I don't get what the guy gets out kicking a woman. Guys like that don't deserve the rewards of a high salary. Good for them for getting rid of that trash heap.
 
KANSAS CITY, Missouri --
The Kansas City Chiefs released running back Kareem Hunt on Friday night after video surfaced that showed the NFL's reigning rushing champion knocking over and kicking a woman in a Cleveland hotel hallway in February.

The team issued a statement shortly after the NFL had placed Hunt on its Commissioner Exemption List that said the running back had lied when asked about the incident by team officials. The team said "the video today confirms that fact. We are releasing Kareem immediately."
Larry Johnson, former running back, who got in trouble for the same thing, has been talking to NFL players trying to get them not to do this stuff. He said he is pissed at Kareem because he warned him to behave himself. Johnson said, I am the perfect example of what to not do. He has spent the last nine years trying to make up for it.
 
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST
PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown
Savannah night before last.
Date: 2017-01-17, 1:43 am. ES.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled
the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when
I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in
Afghanistan .
She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head .. isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants.
I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again).
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of
what you'd done.
Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet.
[That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the
windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning
President Trump as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution
is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen
to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Semper fi,
Alex

This is just a joke of course..
 
spoons.jpg
 

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