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Sometimes it's the simplest things that can be the most beautiful...

Blade Grass w Dew 1 sm wWM.jpg
 
I'm a betting man. I'll bet if you were driving 50 mph in the passing lane and I flipped you the bird as I whizzed past you in the right lane, you'd smile and tip your hat. 😁
I'm betting every day is a good day.
Oh believe me, I have my days but nowhere near the issues I used to have. I used to really struggle with my mental health. It wasn't until about 10 years ago with therapy and some changes in medication that I finally got over the endless cycle of manic depression.

You would have never known if you were around me, but I would go from being on top of the world to just being in a living hell based on stress from my job and back again. Thank the powers that be that I finally got the help I needed. Even more deserving of praise is my wife who suffered every minute of it with me. Her and my mom are the only two people in the world I've ever found that know when I'm struggling. I haven't had an episode in years thanks to the help I received. I can have stressful days at work, but I've learned how to leave it there. Hardest lessons of my life, just wished I would have gotten help sooner. I know it affected my kids when they were growing up because I became a "recluse". Didn't want to be around anybody after work, so I pushed everyone away and isolated myself.

Having to be the "shell answer man" for everyone I worked with and protect our company in some pretty serious claim situations over the years that could have literally got out of hand, took its toll. Nothing like the stress of having to walk into a room full of lawyers, architects, facility owners and have to explain that the problems they are having aren't your fault is really not something I enjoy at all. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on perspective, I'm apparently good at it because we're still here and I still do business with those same people. I just know now that at the end of the day...it's just floor covering. No one's going to die, no one's going to flooring jail, tomorrow whether we solve the problem or not I'm still going to be here, and it won't change the outcome either way.

I've also come to be much more at peace with myself. I learned that I can't solve the world's problems, and more importantly I've learned not to allow other people's problems to become my problems. I'll do everything I can to help you, but at the end of the day, if you're going to do something dumb, I have absolutely no control over your decision. That was always a big problem for me. My therapist told me it came from an "overdeveloped sense of responsibility" that I developed as a child. My parents were very young and in many ways I had to raise myself like a lot of people in my generation.

The fastest way to get me going anymore is to tell me the weather is bad, and I can't get outside for a few days with my camera. :) That's why they make rain gear and coats.

At any rate, anyone who suffers from mental health issues, don't be afraid to ask for help. It does exist and things DO get better. It's a process and there is no magic bullet so be patient with yourself it doesn't happen over night!
 
Oh believe me, I have my days but nowhere near the issues I used to have. I used to really struggle with my mental health. It wasn't until about 10 years ago with therapy and some changes in medication that I finally got over the endless cycle of manic depression.

You would have never known if you were around me, but I would go from being on top of the world to just being in a living hell based on stress from my job and back again. Thank the powers that be that I finally got the help I needed. Even more deserving of praise is my wife who suffered every minute of it with me. Her and my mom are the only two people in the world I've ever found that know when I'm struggling. I haven't had an episode in years thanks to the help I received. I can have stressful days at work, but I've learned how to leave it there. Hardest lessons of my life, just wished I would have gotten help sooner. I know it affected my kids when they were growing up because I became a "recluse". Didn't want to be around anybody after work, so I pushed everyone away and isolated myself.

Having to be the "shell answer man" for everyone I worked with and protect our company in some pretty serious claim situations over the years that could have literally got out of hand, took its toll. Nothing like the stress of having to walk into a room full of lawyers, architects, facility owners and have to explain that the problems they are having aren't your fault is really not something I enjoy at all. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on perspective, I'm apparently good at it because we're still here and I still do business with those same people. I just know now that at the end of the day...it's just floor covering. No one's going to die, no one's going to flooring jail, tomorrow whether we solve the problem or not I'm still going to be here, and it won't change the outcome either way.

I've also come to be much more at peace with myself. I learned that I can't solve the world's problems, and more importantly I've learned not to allow other people's problems to become my problems. I'll do everything I can to help you, but at the end of the day, if you're going to do something dumb, I have absolutely no control over your decision. That was always a big problem for me. My therapist told me it came from an "overdeveloped sense of responsibility" that I developed as a child. My parents were very young and in many ways I had to raise myself like a lot of people in my generation.

The fastest way to get me going anymore is to tell me the weather is bad, and I can't get outside for a few days with my camera. :) That's why they make rain gear and coats.

At any rate, anyone who suffers from mental health issues, don't be afraid to ask for help. It does exist and things DO get better. It's a process and there is no magic bullet so be patient with yourself it doesn't happen over night!
Ah, the stress of being a loyal, people pleasing perfectionist. I know quite well what you're saying.
My godfather was a longshoreman. If I could go back and do it all over, I'd have said no to Grandpa and have a totally different understanding of "fuzzy side up" 😁
I'm glad you got what you needed. You turned out pretty damn good. Life is a journey.
 

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