You would make a darn good lawyer Highup
…. Seriously, that’s a great argument ! not sure it’s sincere. However, for the heck of it , let’s assume it was, because ! ! ITS ACTUALLY POINTING TO THE BIGGEST ISSUE WE ARE FACING IN TODAYS CULTURE…. Just like you found the issue ( scientifically ) with the
‘ Grinning ‘ Carpet and potential improvement.
You just identified the problem: Understanding !
…. So I’m going to pose a question from Highups argument, then I’ll elaborate on the possible improvement.
Could this ‘ Victim and Guilt slavery relationship, whether it’s realized, or not realized consciously yet, be the reason why both groups keep doubling down?
And ! Consequently, go’s on nowhere?
It feels so real to us that we become paralyzed and label ourselves either victims of being oppressed or victims of being the oppressor. Isn’t it about time we give ourselves some healing over these tragic past wounds. We can do it and it probably doesn’t require monetary compensation, just a change of perspective.
Proposed secret solution for healing:
On one hand, you have a group whose ancestors were oppressed, which in turn placed burdens upon their children, and their children’s children. What do they need to move beyond this ?…,Could it be understanding ? ….I believe the answer is 100% yes, but not external understanding. Now let’s look at highups argument, and the feelings of guilty about knowing that his ancestors could have been the oppressors. What is it he is looking for? Could it be understanding ? and the answer is 100% yes, but not externally. ( This is the change of perspective)
Conclusion:
Understanding falls in the category of feelings, and To ignore feelings, like understanding, most importantly ours and secondarily others, will only keep us as people and organizations stuck in dysfunction. So you see, the trick is to give the understanding to yourself, because it’s not going to be readily available to you from others, because ! as a culture, we are not there yet. We do not possess the skill of empathy at that level yet. However, as a society, we are starting to learn through the major conflict going on in today’s political and social media world, but we must be willing to improve not to continue. This could be the catalyst that brings the concept of internal understanding to the forefront. Expecting others to understand us first will only keep us stuck with what we have.
Once we tend to these wounds through internal understanding, the guilt we feel from real or indirect ancestors who oppressed or ancestors who were victims, is when we can start to improve and stop blaming.
Now ! we can stand tall, on our own
2 feet , able to move forward with no expectations of receiving the understanding from others. If it comes, that’s great, but to expect it is to give control of your internal feelings to others. Could that be the reparations ? ? ! ! not monetary healing ? Maybe
When we give ourselves the understanding on a daily basis, we stop looking for it from others. We stop expecting it, or demanding it to come from others. Now the lashing out, which is just a desperate attempt to gain understanding from others, no longer becomes important. Like I said, getting understanding from others is not realistic, it would be nice if it comes, but to rely on it, to expect it, only keeps us stuck and perpetuates the cycle of expectations, judgment, ridicule, blaming, and the biggest one of all , the doubling down on old patterns that just simply don’t work long-term towards functionality, because it only encourages others to double down themselves.