Insanity

[Floorist]

From the book, Disorder in the American Courts. Things that people actually said in court.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
______________________________ ______________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________ ______________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
______________________________ _____________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________ ______________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
______________________________ ______

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
______________________________ _____________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you sh-tting me?
______________________________ ___________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid.
______________________________ ______________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________ ______________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
______________________________ ______________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
______________________________ _______

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________ ________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them.. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
______________________________ ___________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
______________________________ ___________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
______________________________ ______________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________ ________

And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

 

[Nick]

 

[Floorist]

Starbucks in order to be green wants to severely cut back on straw use and plans to eventually eliminate all single use straws.

So Starbucks is coming out with new single use plastic lids that make it easier to drink from without a straw. The problem is Starbuck's new lids that don't require a straw use more plastic than the old lids and straws combined.

Visually you think you are using less plastic, because there is no longer a straw, but the lid is bigger and you wind up using more plastic.

Starbucks justifies it saying that straws won't be recycled and the lids will, but as Reason points out, this point is dubious.

 

[Nick]

It has to be cheaper to make a lid then a straw to.. even if they use more plastic ..

 

[Floorist]

It has to be cheaper to make a lid then a straw to.. even if they use more plastic ..

You don't think I would be about saving money? (in my sarcastic voice)
)

 

[Floorist]

The city of Santa Barbara has passed an ordinance that will allow restaurant employees to be punished with up to six months of jail time or a $1,000 fine for giving plastic straws to their customers.

The bill was passed unanimously last Tuesday, and covers bars, restaurants, and other food-service businesses. Establishments will still be allowed to hand out plastic stirrers, but only if customers request them.

Same city that allows illegals to vote and the homeless poop on the sidewalks.

What will they use to do drugs?

 

[highup]

The city of Santa Barbara has passed an ordinance that will allow restaurant employees to be punished with up to six months of jail time or a $1,000 fine for giving plastic straws to their customers.

The bill was passed unanimously last Tuesday, and covers bars, restaurants, and other food-service businesses. Establishments will still be allowed to hand out plastic stirrers, but only if customers request them.

Same city that allows illegals to vote and the homeless poop on the sidewalks.

What will they use to do drugs?

....if you are a waiter or waitress, and your boss makes straws available for you to access ...it's a trap!

 

[Floorist]

Tech companies in California can no longer feed employees

https://markets.businessinsider.com...cafeteria-food-facebook-ban-2018-7-1027400345

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

As in many government bans, this one is beyond silly. Maybe that's why some people support straw bans. It follows the old rule "tell a lie big enough and often enough and people will believe it".

----------------
We could collect all of the straws in North America, bundle them together and shoot them into the Sun, and the state of the ocean would hardly be improved at all. Indeed, we could stop using plastic altogether and it would barely make a dent in the problem. Does that mean we should be totally unconcerned about our own waste? No, but it does mean that our waste is, comparatively, not a significant problem. The ocean is being destroyed by Asia and Africa. Until they get their acts together, only minimal progress can be made.

And, as far as straws go, it's a near total non-issue. The United States accounts for a tiny fraction of the plastic in the ocean and straws account for a tiny fraction of that tiny fraction. Go ahead and refrain from straws if you wish. More power to you. But you are accomplishing very little for the environment. That's just the reality, in case anyone cares about reality anymore.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/33611...aign=position1

 

[Nick]

 

[havasu]

Are they going to also ban plastic straws from hospitals, where this may be the only way to consume water due to a medical condition? If so, can you get a doctor's note to demand a plastic straw? This state has officially gone into the lunatic stage because of the liberals.

 

[Floorist]

A 9 year old boy started this stupid movement.

 

[havasu]

And adults followed along?

I'm still hot on the charging for grocery bags. When I was in Colorado last week, we stopped at Target and the lady asked if we wanted to bag our stuff. I immediately told her, "hell no, I refuse to pay for them", and she said...."oh, you must be from California!"

 

[Floorist]

No charge for bags here. Can still get the big paper ones if you ask.

 

[havasu]

They charge $.10 a bag. I refuse. I will tell 'em to just load it back in the cart, and I will bag it when I get to the car.

 

[Floorist]

 

[Nick]

LOL

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]