Jokes
- Thread starter Floorist
- Start date
Help Support Flooring Forum:
Watching the price of lumber and wondering if I should sell my house for parts?
I just tore my daughter 8x10 storage barn down and hoping to sell the framework for parts. Thinking $150.
Our local lumberyard still has free pallets. But those are a bear to take apart.
So... this one is just further proof I am a redneck.
Starter troubles, no problem.... I got it fixed, just park on ramps
Starter troubles, no problem.... I got it fixed, just park on ramps
You have to get closer and look for a clipped ear.
Z this is for you.
Boudreaux live across de bayou from Clarence, who he don
like at all.
Dey all de time yell across de bayou at each other.
Boudreaux would yell to Clarence, "If I had a way to cross dis bayou, I'd come over dere an beat you up good, yeah!"
Dis went on for years.
Finally de state done built a bridge across dat bayou right by dere houses; and Boudreaux's wife, Marie, say, "Now is you chance, Boudreaux.
Why don you go over der an beat up dat Clarence like you
say?"
Boudreaux say, "OK," and start across de bridge, but he see
a sign on de bridge an he stop to read it and den he go back
home.
Marie say, "Why you back so soon?"
And Boudreaux say, "Marie, I dun change my mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence.
You know Marie, dey got a sign on dat dere bridge dat say, 'Clarence 13 ft. 6 in.'
You know, he don look near dat big when I yell at him across
de bayou."
Boudreaux live across de bayou from Clarence, who he don
like at all.
Dey all de time yell across de bayou at each other.
Boudreaux would yell to Clarence, "If I had a way to cross dis bayou, I'd come over dere an beat you up good, yeah!"
Dis went on for years.
Finally de state done built a bridge across dat bayou right by dere houses; and Boudreaux's wife, Marie, say, "Now is you chance, Boudreaux.
Why don you go over der an beat up dat Clarence like you
say?"
Boudreaux say, "OK," and start across de bridge, but he see
a sign on de bridge an he stop to read it and den he go back
home.
Marie say, "Why you back so soon?"
And Boudreaux say, "Marie, I dun change my mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence.
You know Marie, dey got a sign on dat dere bridge dat say, 'Clarence 13 ft. 6 in.'
You know, he don look near dat big when I yell at him across
de bayou."
This one cracked me up hard, thanks Townes Van Zandt
There was this drunk walking up and down the street and he walks up to this cop and says:
Man somebody stole my car!
And the cop says:
Well where was it?
and the drunk says:
Well it was right here on the end of this key...
Cop says
... uh i don't know man, why don't you go on down to the precinct house and report it, they'll write it up down there, they got all the proper forms and stuff
The guy says "ok" and starts to walk away but the cop stops him and says:
Hey man, before you go down town you had better zip up your fly
The guy says:
aww man, they got my girl too!!
I can't think of a better way to open a song during a live show than that.
There was this drunk walking up and down the street and he walks up to this cop and says:
Man somebody stole my car!
And the cop says:
Well where was it?
and the drunk says:
Well it was right here on the end of this key...
Cop says
... uh i don't know man, why don't you go on down to the precinct house and report it, they'll write it up down there, they got all the proper forms and stuff
The guy says "ok" and starts to walk away but the cop stops him and says:
Hey man, before you go down town you had better zip up your fly
The guy says:
aww man, they got my girl too!!
I can't think of a better way to open a song during a live show than that.
I need to get me one of those!
Do you suppose if I got two it would work better?
Do you suppose if I got two it would work better?
The sound coming out of that muffler will be deafing.
