Jokes

[highup]

Wait a minute, this is supposed to be the jokes section.

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

THE PERFECT HUSBAND
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a
bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to
talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Hi Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes.”
WOMAN: “I’m at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s
only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models.
I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “$90,000.” ;
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing… I was just talking to Janie and
found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re
asking $980,000 for it.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They’ll probably
take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it’s what you
really want.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!”
MAN: “Bye! I love you, too.”
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in
astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, “Anyone know who’s phone this is.....

 

[zannej]

 

[highup]

Please tell me where that house is. I want to be sure I never perform any work in that house.

 

[Dan]

 

[highup]

This seemed more fitting than politics. He has a pretty good sense of humor.

 

[Floorist]

I always thought I would like to drink a beer with Dubya.

 

[highup]

I always thought I would like to drink a beer with Dubya.

Jay Leno did a show with him. he's about us down to earth as you get I really like the guy, both him and Laura.

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[highup]

View attachment 11645

Is an automatic or a stick?

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves.
The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born."
The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?"
The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born."
The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?"
The momma cow again replieds" Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head."
The final baby walks over and says, "Duh huh guh nuh!"
The momma cow says, "Quiet, Cinderblock

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]