Jokes

[DarisMulkin]

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.

"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!"

"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?!" the manager asked.

"That's the one!"

"That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me, why is your hand bandaged?"

"Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his seeing-eye dog bit me."

 

[Don Monfils]

 

[havasu]

 

[highup]

 

[highup]

I wasn't sure the best place to put this one, but the show was funny so here it is.

 

[Floorist]

4 out of every 3 people think that Americans suck at math.

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[highup]

View attachment 11485

Boy now that is a sign.

 

[havasu]

 

[Floorist]

Going in for a job interview?
Don’t mess it up with questions like these from real candidates:

“Can my husband finish the test for me?”

“Would you consider going on a date with me?”

“Can I place my desk near the cafeteria?”

“Do I have to be at work every day?”

From a study by the staffing firm OfficeTeam

 

[Floorist]

Once again Tragedy has hit Hollywood. Reports indicate PePe Le Pew has taken his own life just hours after losing his long time contract with Warner Bros. Several attempts have been made to contact Warner Bros. but they are refusing to give a statement. Services will be held at the ACME Historical Cemetery and will be limited to family and close friends only. Among the pallbearers will be Wile E. Coyote, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd who is currently involved in legal battles with Warner Bros for violating his 2nd Amendment rights.

 

[highup]

I haven't seen him in a while. I knew something was wrong.

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[highup]

 

[DarisMulkin]

 

[Mark Brown]

Edited to reflect current need to focus on flooring......


On the other hand, I laughed rather hard at Daris's post.

 

[DarisMulkin]

On the other hand, I laughed rather hard at Daris's post.

That is exactly what was intended. But out of curiosity has anyone had the flu?