They need more windows. 
Jokes
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Told my doctor that my joints are stiff.
He said that I was rolling them too tight.
He said that I was rolling them too tight.
First car built in the US using common core math.
I think that's beyond my PS pay scale. That's a good'n.
My father told me that he saw the Titanic and that from the very beginning, he warned all the people that the ship would sink, but nobody would listen to him.
He was a brave man. He did not give up. He warned them again and again and again, on many occasions, until they finally kicked him out of the theater!
He was a brave man. He did not give up. He warned them again and again and again, on many occasions, until they finally kicked him out of the theater!
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Ern, you wearing your Nikes today?
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Funny how were fighting the British for our independence using tools of war for 5 years after 1776, and we celebrate our victory with a parade showing off our military........... and that bothers some people. We didn't win because we were pushovers. We are proud of out mighty military power. Ever see a 4th of July parade without veterans and Jeeps? ....me neither.
Ya had me for a second........ I was thinkin', how old is Ern?
I saw what you posted earlier Hav, thanks for changing it and no I don't wear Nikes, they don't fit my feet right.
When my Lady starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work ,
so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.
so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.
The "singing" bit reminded me of a poem in a book by Mercedes Lackey. She used to write about paladins who had magical horses that could read their thoughts (or something like that). I read them back in the 80s.
Excerpts from the poem:
It was a dark and stormy night - or so the Heralds say -
And lightning striking constantly transformed the night to day.
The thunder roared the castle round - or thusly runs the tale -
And rising from the Northeast Tower there came a fearful wail.
It was no beast or banshee that, the castle folk knew well,
Nor prisoner in agony, nor demon trapped by spell,
No ghost that moaned in penance, nor soul in mortal fright -
'Twas just the Countess "singing" - for she practiced every night.
....
It was a dark and stormy night - or so the Bards aver -
And so perhaps that was the reason why there was no stir
When suddenly the "music" ceased; and when Dawn raised his head
Within the Tower servants found the Countess stiff and dead.
...
At length the Heralds then pronounced her death as "suicide".
And all within the district voiced themselves quite satisfied.
It was a verdict, after all, that none wished to refute -
Though no one could imagine why she'd try to eat her lute.
I can usually only remember the first two parts and the last line.
Excerpts from the poem:
It was a dark and stormy night - or so the Heralds say -
And lightning striking constantly transformed the night to day.
The thunder roared the castle round - or thusly runs the tale -
And rising from the Northeast Tower there came a fearful wail.
It was no beast or banshee that, the castle folk knew well,
Nor prisoner in agony, nor demon trapped by spell,
No ghost that moaned in penance, nor soul in mortal fright -
'Twas just the Countess "singing" - for she practiced every night.
....
It was a dark and stormy night - or so the Bards aver -
And so perhaps that was the reason why there was no stir
When suddenly the "music" ceased; and when Dawn raised his head
Within the Tower servants found the Countess stiff and dead.
...
At length the Heralds then pronounced her death as "suicide".
And all within the district voiced themselves quite satisfied.
It was a verdict, after all, that none wished to refute -
Though no one could imagine why she'd try to eat her lute.
I can usually only remember the first two parts and the last line.
The owner of a drug store walked into his store one day only to notice a man leaning heavily against a wall.
The owner went over to his staff member behind the counter and asked them, “What’s wrong with that guy over there by the wall?”
The staff member replied, “Oh him – he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find any cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative instead.”
The owner shouted, “You fool! What were you thinking? You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”
The staff member said, “Of course I can. Look at him, he’s not coughed once since I gave it to him – he’s too scared!”
The owner went over to his staff member behind the counter and asked them, “What’s wrong with that guy over there by the wall?”
The staff member replied, “Oh him – he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find any cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative instead.”
The owner shouted, “You fool! What were you thinking? You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”
The staff member said, “Of course I can. Look at him, he’s not coughed once since I gave it to him – he’s too scared!”
..........that would be me.
I wish I could find the cartoon again but the gist was a man was telling his wife "Come to bed, honey. It's late" and she was replying "I can't! Someone is wrong on the internet!!!" It was something my brother-in-law linked to my sister.
A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special--$99!" So she goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special please."
The agent says "Yes, ma'am", then he grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her onto a large innertube, pulls her out the back door and downhill to the river bank, where he pushes her in and sends her floating down the river.
A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays down her money and asks for the $99 special. She too is sent floating down river. Drifting in stronger current she catches up with the first blonde.
Drifting side by side for a while, the first blonde asks "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise?" The second blonde replies, "They didn't last year."
The agent says "Yes, ma'am", then he grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her onto a large innertube, pulls her out the back door and downhill to the river bank, where he pushes her in and sends her floating down the river.
A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays down her money and asks for the $99 special. She too is sent floating down river. Drifting in stronger current she catches up with the first blonde.
Drifting side by side for a while, the first blonde asks "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise?" The second blonde replies, "They didn't last year."
