Jokes
- Thread starter Floorist
- Start date
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How much you paying the new guy?
Kind of the way it is:
Winning Ticket...
I played for a semi-pro baseball team.
At every game we sold raffle tickets. Half the money paid the team's expenses and the other half went to the winning ticket holder.
One day they held the drawing just as I was stepping up to bat.
The home plate umpire pulled the winning ticket, and then turned to me. "Could you read me the number?" he asked. "My vision's not too good."
Winning Ticket...
I played for a semi-pro baseball team.
At every game we sold raffle tickets. Half the money paid the team's expenses and the other half went to the winning ticket holder.
One day they held the drawing just as I was stepping up to bat.
The home plate umpire pulled the winning ticket, and then turned to me. "Could you read me the number?" he asked. "My vision's not too good."
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Or he’s holding one in.
Yeah, that's a difficult read. 
Say what you want. I'd love to have him back.
It’s comin!
I’m heading to Florida next week. Snow in the south on 95 is what I’m worried about.
A couple years ago they got a little in Virginia. It was a **** show!
I was stationed in Pensacola, Fla in the Navy and we got 2" of snow, talk about a **** show. Also being from Minnesota at the time i did not believe the amount of cars froze up along the road. Didn't they ever hear of anti-freeze. Of coarse most of the cars were from the north.
install4you
Active Member
Regarding snow in the south...
Let's just agree there are a lot of idiot drivers & look at a couple of legit reasons a freak heavy snow can reek havoc on a place like Birmingham, AL.
1. It's not feasible ($$) to keep the kind of equipment needed to clear snow. It won't be there long anyway. (Same about snow tires.)
2. Snow on roads melts during the day & refreezes overnight creating black ice, often hidden with a wind-blown layer of snow. You can slide into next week when you hit that.
3. Few power lines are underground. There are lots of trees, especially pines & trees with leaves because snow comes really late after trees leaf out in the spring. Snow plus these trees equal falling branches taking down lots of power lines & poles blocking roads. But then most of the snow melts before power lines are back up... unless YOUR power is out. Then the snow keeps you in the keeps you cold, dark, & stuck walking the neighborhood looking for coffee for 5 to 10 days.
Big snows in the south are remembered for 2 generations. We still talk about the blizzard of '93 & snowpocolipse from about 2016.
Don't forget get our tornadoes. Right now I'm in Tennessee cooking for chainsaw teams from Alabama helping people recover from Saturday night.
Oh well, my ADD is showing.
Stay safe everyone.
Let's just agree there are a lot of idiot drivers & look at a couple of legit reasons a freak heavy snow can reek havoc on a place like Birmingham, AL.
1. It's not feasible ($$) to keep the kind of equipment needed to clear snow. It won't be there long anyway. (Same about snow tires.)
2. Snow on roads melts during the day & refreezes overnight creating black ice, often hidden with a wind-blown layer of snow. You can slide into next week when you hit that.
3. Few power lines are underground. There are lots of trees, especially pines & trees with leaves because snow comes really late after trees leaf out in the spring. Snow plus these trees equal falling branches taking down lots of power lines & poles blocking roads. But then most of the snow melts before power lines are back up... unless YOUR power is out. Then the snow keeps you in the keeps you cold, dark, & stuck walking the neighborhood looking for coffee for 5 to 10 days.
Big snows in the south are remembered for 2 generations. We still talk about the blizzard of '93 & snowpocolipse from about 2016.
Don't forget get our tornadoes. Right now I'm in Tennessee cooking for chainsaw teams from Alabama helping people recover from Saturday night.
Oh well, my ADD is showing.
Stay safe everyone.
Got ta have Instagram I think.
