Jokes
- Thread starter Floorist
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My grandma was a school teacher in South Dakota. She rode a horse to school to start the fire in the wood stove so the kids would be warm. I think she wrote it uphill both ways. It looks like she had it easy.
Everyone PLEASE be careful because people are going crazy from being locked down at home!
I was just talking about this with the microwave and the toaster while drinking my coffee, and we all agreed that things are getting bad.
I didn’t mention any of this to the washing machine, because she puts a different spin on EVERYTHING!! Certainly couldn’t share with the fridge, cause he’s been acting cold and distant!
In the end, the iron straightened me out! She said the situation isn’t all that pressing and all the wrinkles will soon get ironed out!
The vacuum, however, was very unsympathetic…told me to just suck it up buttercup! But the fan was VERY optimistic and gave me hope that it will all blow over soon!
The toilet looked a bit flushed but didn’t say anything when I asked its opinion, but the front door said I was becoming unhinged and the doorknob told me to get a grip!! You can just about guess what the curtains told me: they told me to “pull myself together!”
We will survive!!
I was just talking about this with the microwave and the toaster while drinking my coffee, and we all agreed that things are getting bad.
I didn’t mention any of this to the washing machine, because she puts a different spin on EVERYTHING!! Certainly couldn’t share with the fridge, cause he’s been acting cold and distant!
In the end, the iron straightened me out! She said the situation isn’t all that pressing and all the wrinkles will soon get ironed out!
The vacuum, however, was very unsympathetic…told me to just suck it up buttercup! But the fan was VERY optimistic and gave me hope that it will all blow over soon!
The toilet looked a bit flushed but didn’t say anything when I asked its opinion, but the front door said I was becoming unhinged and the doorknob told me to get a grip!! You can just about guess what the curtains told me: they told me to “pull myself together!”
We will survive!!
......those chats are subtle signs explaining why your meds run out in mid month.
My month's supply last 3 days.
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That explains a lot.
My wife offered to help me pack.
My wife had mine packed and setting on the porch and a beacon light shine just to make sure they didn't miss me.
Sooooo funny! Where do you get this stuff?
...no, no, don't tell me. I like it when you post it here.
I'm hiding. I like looking up, but I don't want to go there.
Looks like they were getting ready to pour a foundation for a house.
My girlfriend invited me to meet her parents.
Before we went over, she let me know that her father, Dale, was in a car accident and had his legs amputated at the hips. Apparently, it was a sensitive issue, and I was not to mention it.
When we arrived, her dad greeted us at the door. Not seeing his wife anywhere, I said to him, “Dale, it’s great to meet you. Is your other half in the kitchen?”
Before we went over, she let me know that her father, Dale, was in a car accident and had his legs amputated at the hips. Apparently, it was a sensitive issue, and I was not to mention it.
When we arrived, her dad greeted us at the door. Not seeing his wife anywhere, I said to him, “Dale, it’s great to meet you. Is your other half in the kitchen?”
That's double creepy.
