Jokes

[Floorist]

 

[C.J.]

...also what ***** is going to counterfeit a bill that does not exist. That would just be dumb.

Pretty sure that’s what she thought I was doing. If you’ve never seen one or didn’t even know they exist, I suppose I could understand her reaction to being given one. She looked at me funny wondering if I was really that stupid to give her a bill that doesn’t exist.

 

[Floorist]

The light turned yellow, just in front of him.
He did the right thing and stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman behind him was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.
The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.
He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door.
She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, ''I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, giving the guy in front of you the finger and cursing at him.
I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' licence plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally ......
I assumed you had stolen the car.''

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[highup]

I don't think Schrodinger guy was the life of a party.

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[DarisMulkin]

I think there one in every crowd. When in the Navy when getting phyicals we were told to bend over and spread our cheeks. Some butthead bent over and put his fingers in his mouth a pulled his cheeks apart.

 

[Floorist]

Owner's manual
The book you read while waiting for the tow truck.

 

[highup]

View attachment 12081

If you're spread them apart your an Ahole.

 

[highup]

I think there one in every crowd. When in the Navy when getting phyicals we were told to bend over and spread our cheeks. Some butthead bent over and put his fingers in his mouth a pulled his cheeks apart.

wuz the name Daris?

 

[Floorist]

 

[highup]

View attachment 12086

Amazing they had the same problems we do.

 

[Floorist]

 

[Mark Brown]

Needless to say, I am ruined.

 

[C.J.]

Or you used to date someone named Tiffany.