Jokes

[Floorist]

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."
The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

 

[Dan]

So I was at the store earlier with my service dog. The lady in front of me at checkout had about $200 worth of toilet paper in her shopping cart. With an attitude she asked me what type of dog I had. I told her it was my service dog. Then she got real snarky and said, I knew that. What type of service? I said he was a BLD. By now he was licking her face and hands being super friendly. She said, what is a BLD? I told her it stood for Butt Licking Dog. She said Butt Licking Dog? I said yeah, he has been trained to lick my butt clean because I can't seem to be able to find toilet paper because of hoarders. The cashier completely lost it.

 

[Mark Brown]

You just made my day Dan. Thank you!!
Some peoples children, really make you wonder.

 

[Dan]

 

[highup]

If he resigns he's going to make millions from some company that needs a qualified Chinese representative/negotiator.

 

[Don Monfils]

Yikes

 

[highup]

Was he trying to download?

 

[highup]

Never thought about that till now but so true.

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[highup]

I don't like Facebook's "memories" feature....... because it shows me 6 years ago wearing the same shirt that I'm wearing right now.

 

[havasu]

Good thing the 30 year old underwear are not shown in the pic!

 

[Mark Brown]

I don't like Facebook's "memories" feature....... because it shows me 6 years ago wearing the same shirt that I'm wearing right now.

Highup, im 37 and I look in the closet and I still have shirts I wore In high-school. You gonna be ok brother.

 

[DarisMulkin]

Good thing the 30 year old underwear are not shown in the pic!

You mean the ones with the skid marks in them?

 

[Floorist]

Hey, I can still wear the same hat I wore in high school.

 

[highup]

Good thing the 30 year old underwear are not shown in the pic!

Hey, hey who's going to know if you wearing pants

 

[highup]

Hey, I can still wear the same hat I wore in high school.

I'll see if I can get a picture of mine. It's probably been on there photo excursions since 20 years ago. They make sugar, do they make hat goo?

 

[highup]

Save money, make your own.