Jokes

[highup]

That's not what I thought they were going to say.....
....close tho.

 

[highup]

I left the s*** fly.

 

[Floorist]

A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were.
”We have 2 basic needs sir,” replied the villager. “Firstly, we have a hospital, but there’s no doctor.”
On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
“Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village.”

 

[Mark Brown]

I think old timey parables were more profound.... but i take the meaning

 

[Dan]

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[highup]

They tweaked it a bit.

 

[highup]

Thrist juvenile swine.

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[havasu]

Duh!

 

[Mark Brown]

Duh!
View attachment 13220

The article is actually slightly more complex than rhe headline. The woman in question who was murdered succumbed to her injury after she had given a full account of the incident to police.... hence the headline.

 

[Floorist]

 

[Floorist]

 

[highup]

The article is actually slightly more complex than rhe headline. The woman in question who was murdered succumbed to her injury after she had given a full account of the incident to police.... hence the headline.

Typical bait and switch.

 

[Floorist]

 

[highup]

Due to staffing shortages, any child dressed as a firefighter will be required to fill a shift. Thank you.

 

[Floorist]

 

[DarisMulkin]

A man out shopping bought some new condoms.

When he got home, his wife noticed the brand.

“Olympic condoms? What makes them so special?” she asked.

“There are three colors,” he replied. “Gold, silver and bronze.”

“What color are you going to wear tonight?” she asked.

“Gold, of course,” said the man.

“Really?” she said.

“Why don’t you wear silver—it would be nice if you came second for a change!”