Jokes
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Runaway boy
A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father.
He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced: “I’m running away from home!”
The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically.
“What if you get hungry?” he asked.
“Then I’ll come home and eat”, the child bravely declared.
“And what if you run out of money?”, inquired the father.
“I will come home and get some”, replied the child.
The man then made a final attempt: “What if your clothes get dirty?”
“Then I’ll come home and let mommy wash them”, was the reply.
The man shook his head and exclaimed: “This kid is not running away from home; he’s just going off to college!”
A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father.
He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced: “I’m running away from home!”
The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically.
“What if you get hungry?” he asked.
“Then I’ll come home and eat”, the child bravely declared.
“And what if you run out of money?”, inquired the father.
“I will come home and get some”, replied the child.
The man then made a final attempt: “What if your clothes get dirty?”
“Then I’ll come home and let mommy wash them”, was the reply.
The man shook his head and exclaimed: “This kid is not running away from home; he’s just going off to college!”
When I was young I remember telling my mom I was gonna run away. She replied with ‘Good, I’ll help you pack’. Talk about taking the wind outta your sail.
driftinwoods
Well-Known Member
Gimme the open bag. I need someone that can fit under the car and hold the transmission while I line up the bolts.
-Talking Baby
A baby was born with the ability to talk.
The first thing he said when he was born was, "Are you my mom?"
"Why, yes!" his mother said. "I am!"
"Well," the baby said, "I wanted to thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born."
Then he looks around the room and says, "Are you my doctor?"
"Yes, I am!" says the doctor.
"Well, I just wanted to thank you," says the baby, "for taking such good care of me during the delivery."
"You're very welcome," says the doctor.
The baby looks around the room and says, "Hey, are you my father?"
Overcome with pride, his dad says, "Yes, I am!"
The baby says, "Come here for a minute. I want to show you something. Bend down."
The father complies, and the baby starts poking him in the forehead.
"How does that feel?! Hurts, doesn't it?"
A baby was born with the ability to talk.
The first thing he said when he was born was, "Are you my mom?"
"Why, yes!" his mother said. "I am!"
"Well," the baby said, "I wanted to thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born."
Then he looks around the room and says, "Are you my doctor?"
"Yes, I am!" says the doctor.
"Well, I just wanted to thank you," says the baby, "for taking such good care of me during the delivery."
"You're very welcome," says the doctor.
The baby looks around the room and says, "Hey, are you my father?"
Overcome with pride, his dad says, "Yes, I am!"
The baby says, "Come here for a minute. I want to show you something. Bend down."
The father complies, and the baby starts poking him in the forehead.
"How does that feel?! Hurts, doesn't it?"
driftinwoods
Well-Known Member
I like bird hunting myself.
driftinwoods
Well-Known Member
I was going to put this in the political section but this seems more appropriate.
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”
To which the boy replies, “Now we run!”
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”
To which the boy replies, “Now we run!”
My mom had my uncle drop me off at the park down the street.
Lasted about an hour before I got hungry.
Reminds me of a Leave It To Beaver episode.My mom had my uncle drop me off at the park down the street.
Lasted about an hour before I got hungry.
Reminds me of a Leave It To Beaver episode.
Ward, I think you were a little hard on the beaver last night….
Lol, love that joke
You guys are full of it.....
.....them tonight.
.....them tonight.
Don't skip, get the newer silicone type.
