I was going to put this in the political section but this seems more appropriate.
Jokes
- Thread starter Floorist
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A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”
To which the boy replies, “Now we run!”
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”
To which the boy replies, “Now we run!”
My mom had my uncle drop me off at the park down the street.
Lasted about an hour before I got hungry.
Reminds me of a Leave It To Beaver episode.My mom had my uncle drop me off at the park down the street.
Lasted about an hour before I got hungry.
Reminds me of a Leave It To Beaver episode.
Ward, I think you were a little hard on the beaver last night….
Lol, love that joke
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You guys are full of it.....
.....them tonight.
.....them tonight.
Don't skip, get the newer silicone type.
I can't see the prices clear enough but it looks like 41 bucks. I wouldn't pay that much unless it was the Gull Friday 24 meal deal.
I bet what's left of that thing is still worth a butt load of money.
Quick thinking
To surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gents, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
To surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gents, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
Ole and Lena moved back home to Wisconsin from Arizona. Lena had a wooden leg and to insure it in Arizona was $2,000.00 a year!!! When they arrived in Wisconsin, they went to an Insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure the wooden leg. The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the couple, "$39.00." Ole was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in Wisconsin to insure, because it cost him $2,000.00 in Arizona !!! The agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, "Well, here it is on the screen. It says: Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system over it, is $39.00."
Available for rent, only $2,000 a month
-The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion.
He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying, "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion.
He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying, "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
Cool photo.
When is old enough to know better supposed to kick in?
...asking for a friend.
...asking for a friend.
Kind of the way it is around my house:
-The manager of a touring theatrical company emailed the owner of the theater in a small town where his company was due to appear.
"Would like to hold rehearsal next Monday afternoon at three.
Have your stage manager, carpenter, property man, electrician, and all stagehands present at that hour."
A few seconds later he received the following reply: "All right. He'll be there."
-The manager of a touring theatrical company emailed the owner of the theater in a small town where his company was due to appear.
"Would like to hold rehearsal next Monday afternoon at three.
Have your stage manager, carpenter, property man, electrician, and all stagehands present at that hour."
A few seconds later he received the following reply: "All right. He'll be there."
There is a new country song, "All my exes changed their sexes".
