Jokes

[C.J.]

 

[highup]

Got wood?

 

[JPfloor]

Got wood?

LOL… That’s funny.

We carry a few flavors of Vegan “ice cream”, which of course is not really ice cream at all. It’s one of the few products we don’t make, we just buy it and sell it to appease our Vegan friends. It advertised as being almond milk based but it might as well be wood milk. The truth is the primary ingredient is “non dairy creamer” which is mostly corn syrup, vegetable oil, and a bunch of chemicals. A very small percentage has anything to do with almonds. As with so many marketing strategies it’s all about deception… I don’t like it but it is what it is… I tell my customers the truth but they don’t really care, as long as it’s “Vegan”.

 

[highup]

I used to drink a lot of chocolate milk. A few quarts per week. It would be lunch sometimes. On the way home one night, I grabbed a quart of chocolate almond milk.
How bad could it be with chocolate? ....baaaaad. They shouldn't be allowed to call it milk.
Yuck.
I bought some smoked honey ham.The label says non gluten. Ummm, like duh.

 

[C.J.]

Almonds have nipples, Greg, can you milk them?

 

[JPfloor]

They shouldn't be allowed to call it milk.

There was a law suite in 2018 by the dairy association stating just that. Dairy people claimed that it was misleading by implying that it had the same nutritional value as real milk... Court ruled against the dairy association stating that no one would think that… Guess Almond people had better lawyers…

 

[JPfloor]

Almonds have nipples, Greg, can you milk them?

Lol…funny movie

 

[JPfloor]

Unfortunately this is not a joke. This was printed on the bag of a pair of pants I ordered on Amazon?

Does that mean someone called to complain that they couldn’t get their pants on because they were in a bag? Or did someone hurt themselves trying to wear the pants before removing them from the bag?

 

[C.J.]

View attachment 16978
Unfortunately this is not a joke. This was printed on the bag of a pair of pants I ordered on Amazon?

Does that mean someone called to complain that they couldn’t get their pants on because they were in a bag? Or did someone hurt themselves trying to wear the pants before removing them from the bag?

Surprised there wasn’t a warning about putting the bag over your head.

 

[highup]

The joke section seemed like a correct place to put this one.

 

[Dan]

A story is going viral this week that features what may be the best comeback that I have ever seen!

A 6 year-old girl was sitting in school one day when the teacher began to teach the class about evolution. She approached a boy student in the class, and the following dialogue ensued:

TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.

TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a minute later) Yes, I saw the sky.


TEACHER: Did you see God?

TOMMY: No.

TEACHER: That’s my point. We cann’t see God because he isn’t there. He doesn’t exist.

That’s when the little girl raised her hand and asked the teacher if she could pose some questions to the boy. The teacher then gave the girl permission.

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?

TOMMY: Yesssssssss (getting tired of the questions by this time).

LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?

TOMMY: Yessssssssss.

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?

TOMMY: Yes.

LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?

TOMMY: No.

LITTLE GIRL: Then, according to what we were taught in the school today…she must not have one!!

LOL! How perfect is that?! She really showed her teacher!

This is the type of comeback that any Christian will enjoy! SHARE this story so your friends and family can see this as well!

 

[DarisMulkin]

 

[DarisMulkin]

 

[highup]

 

[Floorist]

What happens when you fart in a smart car.

 

[Floorist]

 

[DarisMulkin]

It is right next to the cordless electricity.

 

[Floorist]

 

[Incognito]

eeeee

 

[DarisMulkin]