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:ghostly:
An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for the little blue "Viagra" pill.

The pharmacist asked, "How many?"

The man replied, "Just a few, maybe a half dozen. I cut each one into four pieces.”


The pharmacist said, "That's too small a dose. That won't get you through intimacy."

The old fellow said, "Oh, I'm over eighty years old and I don't even think about intimacy much anymore.

I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't piss on my new golf shoes."
Did it work for you, Nick?
 
golf.jpg
 
A highway Patrolman pulls an older gentleman over for a broken tail light.

As the patrolman is talking with the gent, there is a few flies circling around the patrolman's hat, and head.

He keeps swatting at them, and the old man says " Having trouble with them circle flies, are ya?"

Patrolman says " Circle Flies, never heard of them, what are they?

The old man says " On the ranch we have flies that circle around the horse's behinds. We call them Circle Flies."

Patrolman says " I see. " thinks a second, " Hey are you calling me a Horse's behind?"

The old man says, " Oh, No Sir, I would never do that."

patrolman says , " Good."

old man says, " Hard to fool them flies though."
 
A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play day.

'Mummy ,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'

'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied. 'It's not polite.'

'OK', the little girl says,

'What colour was your hair 2 years ago?

'Now really,' the mother says, 'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'

Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'

'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

'My Mum won't tell me anything about herself,' the little girl says to her friend.

'WELL' says the friend, 'all you need to do is look at her DRIVER'S LICENCE'.
It's like our report cards, it has everything on it.'

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, 'I know how old you are. You are 32.'

The mother is surprised and asks, 'How did you find that out?'

'I also know that you used to have brown hair.'

The mother is past surprised and shocked now

'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'

'And,' the little girl says triumphantly,

'I also know why you and daddy got a divorce.'

'Oh really' says the mother......Why?

'It's all on your drivers licence and you got an 'F' in sex.
 
Julia, a lovely young girl from a wealthy family in Malaga, Spain, fell into a brief but passionate relationship with Rashid, a visiting Moroccan student. Rashid went back to Morocco, but eight months later, young Julia bore twins. Life was tough for a Spanish girl in her state, but her family's wealth and position made things tolerable. Her family, good Catholics all, supported her decision to give birth to the boys, whom she named Juan (her father's name) and Amal (after Rachid's father). They also supported her decision to put the two boys up for adoption, to spare the family the embarrassment of a daughter who was an unwed mother.

The twins were quickly adopted, but by different families. Julia had no had no desire to know their locations. ...But 18 years later, she had second thoughts. She wanted to know how they had fared. She had her father hire a private detective to locate the two young men. He was successful, finding Juan only a few miles away in Granada, and Amal in Zaragoza, far to the north.

She arranged to secretly observe Juan, who was a college student, handsome and doing very well. The detective asked if she wished him to arrange a similar opportunity to observe her other son.

"No," she replied, "they're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
 

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