Jokes
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Two women had been having a friendly lunch, when the subject turned to sex. “You know, John and I have been having some sexual problems." Linda told her friend. “That’s amazing!” Mary replied. “So have Tom and I."
"We’re thinking of going to a sex therapist." said Linda.
“Oh, we could never do that! We’d be too embarrassed!” responded Mary. “But after you go, will you please tell me how it went?”
Several weeks passed and the two friends met for lunch again.
“So how did the sex therapy work out, Linda?” Mary asked.
“Things couldn’t be better!” Linda exclaimed. “We began with a physical exam and afterward, the doctor said he was certain he could help us. He told us to stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy a bunch of grapes and a dozen donuts. He told us to sit on the floor nude and toss the grapes and donuts at each other. Every a grape went into my ******, John had to get it out with his tongue. Every donut that I ringed his penis with, I had to eat. Our sex life is wonderful, in fact it’s better than it’s ever been!”
With that endorsement, Mary talked her husband into an appointment with the same sex therapist.
After the physical exams were completed, the doctor called Mary and Tom into his office.
“I’m afraid there is nothing I can do for you.” he said.
“But doctor!” Mary complained. “You did such good for Linda and John, surely you must have a suggestion for us! Please, please, can’t you give us some help? Any help at all?”
“Well, OK.” the doctor answered. “On your way home, I want you to stop at the grocery store and buy a sack of apples and a box of Cheerios.”
"We’re thinking of going to a sex therapist." said Linda.
“Oh, we could never do that! We’d be too embarrassed!” responded Mary. “But after you go, will you please tell me how it went?”
Several weeks passed and the two friends met for lunch again.
“So how did the sex therapy work out, Linda?” Mary asked.
“Things couldn’t be better!” Linda exclaimed. “We began with a physical exam and afterward, the doctor said he was certain he could help us. He told us to stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy a bunch of grapes and a dozen donuts. He told us to sit on the floor nude and toss the grapes and donuts at each other. Every a grape went into my ******, John had to get it out with his tongue. Every donut that I ringed his penis with, I had to eat. Our sex life is wonderful, in fact it’s better than it’s ever been!”
With that endorsement, Mary talked her husband into an appointment with the same sex therapist.
After the physical exams were completed, the doctor called Mary and Tom into his office.
“I’m afraid there is nothing I can do for you.” he said.
“But doctor!” Mary complained. “You did such good for Linda and John, surely you must have a suggestion for us! Please, please, can’t you give us some help? Any help at all?”
“Well, OK.” the doctor answered. “On your way home, I want you to stop at the grocery store and buy a sack of apples and a box of Cheerios.”
Heard about the constipated accountant?
He worked it out with his pencil.
He worked it out with his pencil.
A week after their marriage, the Redneck newlyweds paid a visit to their doctor... "I can't figure it out doc, and I'm really worried," said the husband. "My testicles are turning blue."
"That's pretty unusual," said the doctor. "Let me examine you."
The doctor takes a look. Sure enough, the Redneck's testicles are blue. The doctor turns to the wife. "Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed?"
"Yes, I am," she replied.
"And what kind of jelly are you using with it?"
"Grape"
"That's pretty unusual," said the doctor. "Let me examine you."
The doctor takes a look. Sure enough, the Redneck's testicles are blue. The doctor turns to the wife. "Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed?"
"Yes, I am," she replied.
"And what kind of jelly are you using with it?"
"Grape"
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I proposed to my ex wife
She said No
She thinks I am just after my money
She said No
She thinks I am just after my money
Hee hee. 
Stephen Wright had a dog named Stay.
"Come here, Stay." "Come here, Stay"
"Come here, Stay." "Come here, Stay"
Had a neighbor when I was a kid whose dog was "you know".
My sister in law had a dog named Dee-o-gee.
sometimes pronounced D-O-G
sometimes pronounced D-O-G
Your wife read this stuff?
I make sure she does.Your wife read this stuff?
