Jokes
- Thread starter Floorist
- Start date
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Too funny! 
My brother and I exchange Christmas greetings every year. Can't get cheaper than that.
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A visitor, returning to Kuwait for the first time since the Gulf War, was impressed by a sociological change.
On previous visits she noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their husbands.
She observed that the men now walked over 20 paces BEHIND their wives!
She approached one of the women for an explanation: "What enabled women here to achieve this marvelous reversal of roles?"
"Land mines," replied the Kuwaiti woman.
On previous visits she noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their husbands.
She observed that the men now walked over 20 paces BEHIND their wives!
She approached one of the women for an explanation: "What enabled women here to achieve this marvelous reversal of roles?"
"Land mines," replied the Kuwaiti woman.
A priest was invited to attend a house party.
Naturally, he was properly dressed and wearing his Priest's Collar.
A little boy kept staring at him the entire evening.
Finally, the priest asked the little boy what he was staring at.
The little boy pointed to the priest's neck
When the priest finally realized what the boy was pointing at, he asked the boy;
"Do you know why I am wearing that?"
The boy nodded his head yes, and replied: "It kills fleas and ticks for up to three months".
Naturally, he was properly dressed and wearing his Priest's Collar.
A little boy kept staring at him the entire evening.
Finally, the priest asked the little boy what he was staring at.
The little boy pointed to the priest's neck
When the priest finally realized what the boy was pointing at, he asked the boy;
"Do you know why I am wearing that?"
The boy nodded his head yes, and replied: "It kills fleas and ticks for up to three months".
What is sex?
LOL! Now I need to remember to add moist towelettes in to my pouch. I carry a retractable back scratcher, retractable magnet stick, pens, flashlight, measuring tape, eyeglasses, and my swiss army knife. Oh yeah, and keys and my wallet.
Wish the carpet in my house could match the various shades of cats. I have 8 of them in here with me right now.
Wish the carpet in my house could match the various shades of cats. I have 8 of them in here with me right now.
Adam Schiff.
Well, he is about the biggest joke on this forum......
Well, this is the joke forum.
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking.
The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".
Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"?
The Aussie asks with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?
The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".
Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"?
The Aussie asks with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?
https://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/ohio-police-girl-scout-cookies-addictive-substance
Not just doughnuts anymore.
Not just doughnuts anymore.
