What did you do today to show understanding

[C.J.]

All of life’s challenges can be broken down into two words/actions. Resist and Defend…… and we swing back and forth between them constantly because we know no other way….

I know about the other way, I share about the other way ( sorry its got to be incredibly annoying) and I will most certainly never get to its destination, because we inherently judge ourselves and others way too much. Read that again ! and then ask yourself, what is the opposite of judging ? ACCEPTANCE

The fact that they them are in your face, asking, begging, pleading, is irrelevant, because we are talking about us
not them…… Why is it, day in and day out , after all the disobedient behavior, we can let go of the intoxicating Resist or Defend Mode, relax, stare up at a majestic tree or return again and again to our pets and give them unconditional love ? ……. It’s because we know deep down that they Accept us and we Accept them….. Sip on that intoxicating cocktail my friends and the good news is that we don’t even have to give up our moral boundaries.
Direct your needs and wants to people and pets alike and then fall back into Acceptance…… and if we give Understanding around that particular meaning of that word, we are on the road to painting a masterpiece that never gets completed, because we are all a work in progress.

Maybe we’re talking about different kinds of acceptance. They/ thems exist in the world and are different than I am. I accept that but apparently that’s not the kind of acceptance they are looking for. There’s something else the they/ thems are wanting from us that they aren’t getting. Do they want people to stop staring at them because they look different? Can’t help it, it’s called uncanny valley and it’s a real thing. People judge and if you don’t look right you’re gonna get judged accordingly. That’s life. Maybe the they/ thems need to learn a little understanding and acceptance themselves. After all they are the odd ducks in the room.

I was at Tempe Marketplace with the wife when I saw a they/ them all dressed up in a Victorian era dress pushing a stroller with a cat in it. Yes, I stared at that person. They look different than what I usually see, what was I supposed to do. I didn’t call them names, throw eggs at them or do anything rude, I just stared. That person knew exactly what they were doing when they got up and put on that outfit for the day then went to a busy public place, yet somehow I’m the Ahole for staring? C’mon, man.

 

[MSLI]

Maybe the they/ thems need to learn a little understanding and acceptance themselves. After all they are the odd ducks in the room.

Yes Yes Yes ! Well said, now we are making progress with productive questions and curiosity about HOW we as a society can try to improve.

When we manage internal love with words and actions that empower us all with internal respect, understanding, appreciation, caring, Acceptance, and trust. ( From The SAFE Class ) then we will automatically dial down the judgment we may literally dish out with words and actions OR ! ( and this one may apply to you directly C. J. ) Dial down judging ourselves through other people’s eyes.

The first time I heard that phrase or concept I remember thinking to myself, that’s normal operating procedures. We constantly say to ourselves on a daily basis, what will they think of me if I do this. That’s judging ourselves through other peoples eyes. So ! Even though it feels like standard operating procedure for a normal life, we are perhaps giving away our power. AND GUESS WHAT? that sentence just brought some awareness and perhaps a new lesson learned ….. Maybe we are not being overpowered by the others need for acceptance after all. Maybe We are under-powered, and it makes their need feel like they want it when perhaps they don’t ……. Sorry ! I had to get that thought out before it went away. Just because I said it doesn’t make it true. This is a discussion with all the artists and we are trying to paint a masterpiece that will never be completed.

So, in conclusion for now maybe we need to ask the question; am I judging myself through other peoples eyes, and is that weakening my ability to thrive in this complicated world and Will taking care of business at home, yield a new perspective outwardly ? Only we can answer that question.

 

[C.J.]

Dial down judging ourselves through other people’s eyes

That’s a good one. I do try to not worry too much about what other people think, but sometimes you just gotta, especially when it comes to money.

You running a business? You want people to call you to do work for them? You want them to like you, trust you and give your name to their friends? Having a good image helps. If you want to present a good image you would think about what other people would find appealing and you try and hit that mark as best as you can while still being true to yourself. It’s marketing and rather than giving away power, the image you present is actually giving you power when done correctly.

Other than that type stuff I don’t sweat other people’s opinions that much, I think. Who knows, maybe I do. I put a couple chairs and a table in the alley the other day and I set them up to be comfy should a wandering bum want to take a break and sip their beer. I did not clean up all the other random trash in the alley so, who knows, maybe I am winning. Setting up those chairs was me showing yet another act of understanding. Walking alleys can’t be easy.

 

[MSLI]

You running a business? You want people to call you to do work for them? You want them to like you, trust you and give your name to their friends? Having a good image helps

Nice ! …. And it starts with ourselves. Thanks C. J. because of you, I bumped into this article after googling self image….and it’s an easy read.

I like when educated people and C. J. too can explain their knowledge effectively to others…..Check it out

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/positive-self-image

 

[MSLI]

Here’s some interesting information to consider as we evaluate the divide between Libs and Conservs. Let’s Try to step away from our competitive stand as we consider.

 

[highup]

If it’s not against the law, we can’t call Hawaii, 5 O, …. If it’s not good common sense, we can’t do anything about that, because common sense is not all that common. If it’s not good morals, we just don’t have Moral Police to enforce good morals. And finally, who made us God to ultimately be the one and true judge of all behaviors ? ….., what action do we have left ? Acceptance ! ….. we accept them as they are, and we ask them to accept us, as we are. Now we are on an equal footing and ready to negotiate each other’s needs and wants in the hope to find function and improvement for all parties, but we must get past this acceptance thing for our own good.

But here’s the ultimate goal, teach everyone to accept themselves

"They" can simply accept some of us as intolerant.
...."they" don't have to tho. "They" can understand that pushing or attempting to gain acceptance from the intolerant will not end well
It's one of those simple things.
Don't ask or attempt to make me to accept you and I won't ask you to go to hell.
I will accept and tolerate you as long as you don't ask for or demand it.
Basically........ Some things don't require discussion. If you're gay, trans, whatever, almost everyone these days has been accustomed to seeing it, so it's really no big deal to us, so why bring it up? Why talk about it.
For 99% of us, this isn't a problem in our daily lives. People around us don't make these demands. They don't have weird parades, they don't get on our faces and demand equality. They have equality and it's unspoken. They know it, we know it.
......the freak parades do not help their cause.

 

[MSLI]

"They" can simply accept some of us as intolerant.
...."they" don't have to tho. "They" can understand that pushing or attempting to gain acceptance from the intolerant will not end well
It's one of those simple things.
Don't ask or attempt to make me to accept you and I won't ask you to go to hell.
I will accept and tolerate you as long as you don't ask for or demand it.
Basically........ Some things don't require discussion. If you're gay, trans, whatever, almost everyone these days has been accustomed to seeing it, so it's really no big deal to us, so why bring it up? Why talk about it.
For 99% of us, this isn't a problem in our daily lives. People around us don't make these demands. They don't have weird parades, they don't get on our faces and demand equality. They have equality and it's unspoken. They know it, we know it.
......the freak parades do not help their cause.

I agree whole heartedly, except ! ! ( finally I got a chance to use that other Accept word , thank God ) Except for the statement “ some things don’t require a discussion “ …… Understandably I agree brother, however that request is an expectation on someone …. It’s proactive judgement destined to fail before ever getting started.
We all do it and that’s why proper conversing is the fix, and to whom we need to be conversing with is ourselves. …. In other words, it opens up our attitude choices.

 

[havasu]

Why fix somethin' that ain't broken?

 

[MSLI]

They" can simply accept some of us as intolerant.
...."they" don't have to tho. "They" can understand that pushing or attempting to gain acceptance from the intolerant will not end well
It's one of those simple things.

Contemplating over that above statement had me agreeing, until I googled and found this. Maybe not so simple afterwards

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance

 

[C.J.]

Contemplating over that above statement had me agreeing, until I googled and found this. Maybe not so simple afterwards

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance

It’s as simple as you want it to be.

 

[MSLI]

It’s as simple as you want it to be.

My daughter had ‘ New Mothers ‘ Circle time this weekend and she shared a story from one Mother who has two boys. 5 months and two years old. The two year old will not sit in the shopping cart at the grocery store, so this family is basically hogging the isles She knows it’s inconsiderate and feels bad, but she really has very few choices about it, so she’s hoping that other shoppers can find it in themselves to give understanding and tolerance. …. As it turned out she ran into Cruella Devil who was about to give her a piece of her mind But before I finish the story, let me say, it is my belief that we all hold a responsibility to stand up for ourselves, but at the same time, recognize and respect others as they try to stand up for their wants and needs.
( essentially giving acceptance)

Now here’s were the story gets interesting …. By demonstration understanding through words and actions, this mother redirected Cruella’s reaction by apologizing right away, and by filling her in on how embarrassed she was for taking up the whole isle……. The moral of the story, SOMEONE HAS TO START THIS PROCESS AND THAT ENCOURAGES OTHERS TO RETURN THE FAVOR. Rinse and repeat this process and we will have improved encounters.

 

[C.J.]

When I’m shopping and I see that kind of Walmart type activity going on down an aisle, I’ll walk around and go up a different aisle until the offenders have left the aisle that I need to be in. Now if there’s a crying kid in the aisle I may purposely go down the aisle and point and laugh at the child as I walk by. Immature, I know, but I love doing that kinda stuff. You should see the look on the kids face. Shuts some of them up so maybe I did a good thing.

Another favorite thing to do is whenever I hear a crying kid I’ll look at my wife and say ‘You hear that’…. ‘It ain’t mine’, as a big ol grin comes over my face Now we both just look at each other and smile. We’ve been there before, so we understand, but we’re not there anymore. Makes me smile right now just thinking about it.

The furniture I put out in the alley the other day is gone. I saw someone loading it up yesterday. That was quick. The neighbor a couple houses down put a couch out there, it’s gone as well. Back to the universe it goes. I like that.

 

[MSLI]

Now if there’s a crying kid in the aisle I may purposely go down the aisle and point and laugh at the child as I walk by. Immature, I know, but I love doing that kinda stuff. You should see the look on the kids face. Shuts some of them up so maybe I did a good thing.

Nice, it takes a village to raise them, and us and the quicker we teach them and us that the world functions better shared not taken, the quicker we will find improved function…… What did the laugh give him ? ….. It redirected / distracted him, so he could leave his inner turmoil behind for awhile until the next time….. We all need to be snapped out of intoxication every now and again and sometimes we just need to be given understanding. It’s the discerning part that makes everything so tricky.

How about the story circulating now, about the kid at the checkout line calling his mom the ‘B’ word because she wouldn’t buy him a chocolate bar. The kid persisted with his tantrum and the mother said OK I’ll get you one. However, the man in front of the mother heard the disrespectful language and commotion and decided to teach a lesson by buying every last chocolate bar

 

[havasu]

Painfully expensive, but I guess it is worth it.

I dislike spoiled kids.