Okay he's off the hook, I knew something was going on. Thanks for the explanation.
Jokes
- Thread starter Floorist
- Start date
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Well yeah, you ever try gagging somebody with blue tape.
All kidding aside, I don’t get pulled over because I don’t give the police a reason to pull me over. And I don’t get shot because if I do get pulled over I don’t give them a reason to shoot me. Yes sir , no sir and a little respect goes a lot farther than you think.
Man, tell me about it!
I have been pulled over more times than I can count.... drunk driving, failing to stop, speeding, suspicious behavior, tinted civic with Alberta plates driving in Ontario (apparently a crime here in Canada), possession with intent (it was bogus), evading arrest.....and of all of that, I got one offense which was rolling through a stop sign.
.....you know when I see a list, it sounds kinda really bad.
I'm not about to say it sure didn't help that I am as white as a sheet and have nothing as far as arrests go... but I can assure you I was terribly kind on every single one of those.
I dont have a gun and 300 buddies I can radio in for help, I know when I'm beat
I have been pulled over more times than I can count.... drunk driving, failing to stop, speeding, suspicious behavior, tinted civic with Alberta plates driving in Ontario (apparently a crime here in Canada), possession with intent (it was bogus), evading arrest.....and of all of that, I got one offense which was rolling through a stop sign.
.....you know when I see a list, it sounds kinda really bad.
I'm not about to say it sure didn't help that I am as white as a sheet and have nothing as far as arrests go... but I can assure you I was terribly kind on every single one of those.
I dont have a gun and 300 buddies I can radio in for help, I know when I'm beat
In this small town, they will invent a reason to stop you and then try to find a reason to write a ticket. Missouri has no primary seat belt law, so they will stop you for a bogus reason and write a seat belt ticket. The fine is only $10, so most people won't try to fight it.
I'm not really a defender of the police by any stretch, but in the same breath ill tell ya I think by and large they do their job.
It isnt like cops are any differnt than floor layers, some good, some bad and most just trying to get through the day.
Problem is you hear the stories about police over reaching their authority but my story about having 52 empty beer cans, 3 grams of pot, 500 dollars in twenty dollar bills and a baggie full of mushrooms, oh and a pipe too.... and being questioned for 20 min and then sent on my merry way doesn't get much air time.
All things being equal, they are mostly good *****. I would be a terrible police office because my tolerance for stupid is abysmal.
The police have dash cams inside and out and so should you. I wear my seat belt so good luck writing that ticket.
This cop stopped 9 cars in an hour and wrote seat belt tickets to most of them. He stopped several for non-working turn signals. None of them had turn signals that did not work. We talked about it on Facebook.
I thought this ought to be here in the joke section.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/fortun...t-zero-energy-bills-nord-stream-2-russia/amp/
https://www.google.com/amp/s/fortun...t-zero-energy-bills-nord-stream-2-russia/amp/
Well, with that FB confirmation, it must be true!
I know most of them personally. When my brother was still a cop, he retired a couple years ago,he said they still had a ticket quota and certain people could not be ticketed. Small town politics. I know that they tag people all the time for appliances sitting outside, My next door neighbor is a council member and he has had an old freezer in his front yard for months. I put an old recliner out one night about 6 pm for the trash people to pick up about 6 am the next morning and got tagged.
A couple years ago, a cop stopped the supt of schools for drunk driving, everyone around here knows he is an alcoholic. Instead of arresting him, they called a family member to come get him. The local DARE teacher was stopped for drunk driving and was not charged.
A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."
The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."
The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."
So I was at the store earlier with my service dog. The lady in front of me at checkout had about $200 worth of toilet paper in her shopping cart. With an attitude she asked me what type of dog I had. I told her it was my service dog. Then she got real snarky and said, I knew that. What type of service? I said he was a BLD. By now he was licking her face and hands being super friendly. She said, what is a BLD? I told her it stood for Butt Licking Dog. She said Butt Licking Dog? I said yeah, he has been trained to lick my butt clean because I can't seem to be able to find toilet paper because of hoarders. The cashier completely lost it.
You just made my day Dan. Thank you!!
Some peoples children, really make you wonder.
Some peoples children, really make you wonder.
If he resigns he's going to make millions from some company that needs a qualified Chinese representative/negotiator.
Don't try this at home:
https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/worl...al-after-sticking-usb-cable-up-his-penis.html
https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/worl...al-after-sticking-usb-cable-up-his-penis.html
Yikes 
Was he trying to download?
