What did you do today?

[zannej]

Ernesto, I don't know if the kid even understands what he's doing is wrong (although I suspect he might but thus far there haven't been any consequences). IMO, it's the mother who is the problem. She doesn't discipline him or watch him. She just sends him over to other people's houses or ignores him. She sometimes hits the kids when she's mad, but she's not consistent & she actually spanked the girl for complaining that her brother was hitting her (bc the brother denied it). So the girl became afraid to tell the mother when the brother hurt her bc she got punished for it & her mother didn't believe her. She actually cried while telling me about that (although she only mentioned the getting "beat up" & not the molesting). Also, the mother is the one who put them in the bath together & left them unsupervised. She was catching flack from my friend for not bathing the girl & the girl coming over filthy & desperately wanting a shower. The mother had them bathing together AFTER her boyfriend had already caught the boy playing with his dick while in the bath with his sister. The boyfriend is a nice guy but he's a complete doormat & is afraid the twunt will have him arrested if he spanks the boy. In addition to not disciplining her son, she won't let other people discipline him. It was a constant battle when my friend was with her. She would always undermine my friend's attempts to keep the kid in line (which he did by sending him to his room, taking away toys/privileges). The mother would just tell him to come back out & give the toys & games back. Then she'd buy him new toys at the store even when he was misbehaving.

The mother knows what a boy her son's age is capable of because she was raped by a 9-yr old when she was 10 (the boy was larger than her). That boy went unpunished and apparently went on to continue such acts bc he's now a registered sex offender. And either the girl told her mother about the sexual abuse & was not believed & punished or she was afraid to tell her out of fear of being disbelieved & punished.

It has now been confirmed that he has been molesting her. His mother's boyfriend caught him fingering the girl but he wasn't punished for it. The girl said he's been "digging in" her with his fingers for awhile now. She'd been getting UTIs and my friend's fiance reported that she'd been touching herself-- symptoms that occurred in a childhood friend of mine who was molested. When the court date comes, I want to be there to tell the court what the girl said about her mother not believing her & punishing her over the hitting incidents.

The girl is with my friend now. My friend's fiance took the girl back to the trailer briefly to get more of her stuff & the boy grabbed his sister's butt inappropriately & then was disrespectful to the fiance. My friend didn't go over because he was at work (and also he already wants to throttle the crap out of the boy). This is the same boy who burned my friend's house down (bc he was left unsupervised by his mother while my friend was at work) & threatened to burn other people's houses down.

I'm also thinking about going to the office of the psychologist who saw both the boy & the girl to tell them about the new developments. While I don't hold out hope that the kid won't repeat offend, maybe he can at least get some counseling & the girl can get some help. I also need to find out the DCFS criteria for a suitable home so my friend won't be told his place is unsafe. The floors aren't finished in the kitchen & bathroom (it's just plywood) & the front steps are a mess, but the house is livable. It's in better condition than the twunt's trailer.

 

[zannej]

I haven't been able to sleep. Been pestering my friend to call DCFS asap. Turns out his ex waited a whole month before telling him about the abuse & I think the abuse has continued (but also pre-dated what the other guy witnessed). My friend has his kid now & the ex is demanding her back but he won't give her back bc he doesn't want her near the abusive kid. The mother actually laughed & smiled while talking about the abuse. I hope I don't see her anytime soon bc I will be sorely tempted to just start punching her.

 

[Ernesto]

Take the girl to a doctor to diagnose for molestation. The doctor has to report it to police. That way its proof and the police would be more inclined to arrest the guy.

 

[zannej]

The school bus dropped the girl off with her mother & my friend is over there trying to get the kid back but the twunt is fighting it. She knows if she doesn't have custody she can't pester my friend to pay for her phone or give her any $ for stuff. But she knew about the abuse for a full month before telling him. The girl says her brother has been doing it for a long time now & the mother has done nothing about it & the boy is still trying to touch her & the mother doesn't stop him, laughed when she was telling him, & did nothing to prevent further abuse. The boy is about 9 or 10 and the girl is 6 or 7. My friend promised me he's going to call DCFS today. I'm nagging him & telling him if he doesn't report he will lose custody. He's got someone who witnessed two incidents of abuse plus the girl saying there was abuse, plus signs like the UTI, fear of her brother, & the girl touching herself. I even consulted a pediatrician who said calling DCFS & reporting the abuse is the priority. The boy will need to be interviewed.

I was unrelenting & nagged my friend in to calling DCFS after his ex refused to let him retrieve his daughter. He finally did it & told them everything & is now going to have to wait for the paperwork part. But at least now if the cops get called, he can refer the cops to the report & say he's concerned for his daughter's safety & doesn't want her anywhere near the brother.

I think all the ex cares about is that she'll be losing her meal ticket. She's this obese lazy pos who collects welfare, SNAP, & WIC. She doesn't work & she doesn't even do anything around the house but play video games & watch Netflix. Without the kids she won't be able to get the WIC & won't get as much for SNAP & she won't be able to manipulate my friend in to giving her $ or paying for her phone.

 

[Ernesto]

So many things wrong. It's going to be a battle. Best thing is to get that girl to a gynecologist to check for abuse.
It could be he hasn't gone that far though.

 

[zannej]

Ernesto, that was my first thought. Her brother was caught fingering her but it might not have done any damage-- although I suspect it might have contributed to the UTIs. I was told she has a different doctor now & I wonder if it was an attempt to hide the abuse.

I know it wasn't easy for my friend to make that call & to talk about his daughter being abused. He's terrified she'll be taken away but the way they've handled things around here in the past, they don't usually do that. They will take the child from the home where the abuse happened and place them with a relative. I'm going to take him to the hardware store on his next day off so we can get some new electrical outlets, covers, & other stuff that DCFS might flag as unsafe. I also suggested they need to make sure all of the medicines they have be put up on a high shelf out of the girl's reach (although, she's smart enough to know not to play with medicine & has no interest in it). I'm just hoping that they won't traumatize her further.

DCFS let another friend's kids stay at a house that was basically a junkyard outside-- all sorts of sharp objects, car parts, & derelict vehicles. They didn't like the conditions but in this area they don't think it's so bad.

 

[zannej]

I hope I didn't kill the conversation. So far DCFS hasn't called back & we don't know what is going on with their investigation. My friend's ex is still refusing to let him see his daughter. I went ahead & informed the child's doctor (via my favorite clerk at his office-- she said she would make a note in the file & tell him asap so he could talk to DCFS about what they wanted in terms of getting her examined & anything he could report that would support the claims).

My mom bought them a new couch bc the old one sucked & there wasn't enough room for us to sit when we went over there (all they had was 2 seats). New couch has about 6 seats. We're going to help them fix up the kitchen. We also helped his fiance out when she took her car to the dealership for an oil change. One of the selling points on the car was a year of free oil changes. This was the first oil change. But they reneged on the deal & said it would be $60 & refused to give her keys back. I don't even know if that is legal. She called me to pick her up bc she was going to just leave the car there. My mother told me to just pay for it (even though it was not right that they did that to her) so she could get her keys. It was her whole lanyard with other keys on it-- I think even her house key & I don't think she thought about that. She apologized for us spending more money on her, but frankly, I don't have kids & Mom doesn't have grandkids so we've unofficially adopted them as family. My friend calls my mother "Grammaw".

I read on the DCFS page that it can take 60 days for an investigation. I'm just hoping it will go quicker & that my friend can get his daughter away from her brother where she'll be safe & that the brother can get some counseling. As far as we know, the ex still doesn't know that DCFS was called.

Do you think the police would help my friend go & get his daughter if there isn't a court order & he is worried that the abuse is still happening? Most of the cops in town like him bc he helped them fix car problems.

Meanwhile, I'm getting sicker. I'm trying to fight it, but the nasal drip has moved to chest congestion. None of the meds worked to stop it entirely. Right now it's not so bad. I took some Delsym so I'm not coughing & I'm semi-comfortable, but I have the chills, a minor sinus headache, and general aches & pains.

 

[havasu]

police cannot rip a child out of a house without verifiable proof of molestation nor without the assistance of a social worker. Too many allegations without proof just to stop the dad from seeing his children happened too much in the past.

 

[zannej]

Havasu, that's what I thought, but wasn't sure. Although, the local cops often break the rules. Sometimes it's a good thing & sometimes it's a bad thing. Legally, can they at least make sure my friend gets to see his daughter if the ex is refusing to let him see her?
It's aggravating to me that it takes as long as it does (although, I understand they need to do a thorough investigation) but they removed another friend's kids & have harassed the family in another town (same parish) repeatedly though. One friend's ex has lice at her place & everytime the kids go to visit her they come back with lice but the school thought the lice were coming from the father's house & not the mother's so they took his kids away & gave them to the mother. It really didn't make sense. I think that is part of why my friend was reluctant to contact DCFS.

 

[havasu]

Do they have a court order with visitation set in stone?

 

[zannej]

Do they have a court order with visitation set in stone?

No. They have never gone to court over custody. The ex tried to file for child support but didn't show up for court but my friend did & he agreed to make some payments for the child's expenses (even though he's basically paying for everything she needs already). His ex has a boyfriend who is supporting her fat a$$. She actually owes my friend a lot of money bc she's living in his trailer & not paying for it. She was supposed to buy it & never paid.

I'm guessing if there is no court order then that makes it harder for the cops to be involved. I just hope that DCFS does something soon. I'm worried that she will be too afraid to say something bc her mother may be threatening her. I'm also worried that the abuse will continue. I think the ONLY reason the wench wants custody is to get $$. She doesn't play with her or spend time with her. She often ignores her, calls her "demon spawn", screams & swears at her, & kicks her out of the trailer to go play somewhere else so she can sleep, watch Netflix, or play on the computer. Even though she can pause Netflix, she won't get up & feed her kids or help them open a drink if she's watching. And she's trying to have another kid so she can get her current boyfriend to be stuck with her.

 

[zannej]

I think my bloodpressure is about to shoot through the roof. My friend just got a letter from DCFS. They said the were not going to investigate because the claim didn't meet their standards & policy for abuse or neglect.
WTF? Seriously, W T F???? How is continued sexual abuse causing UTIs & the mother's failure to report or do anything to stop it NOT abuse or neglect?

I told my friend to fill out their written form & submit it in writing. If they blow him off again I'll call the district attorney.

 

[Floorist]

Just doing repair mode on an old laptop. Might need it. The one I use most of the time is having problems and I only have 4.

 

[Floorist]

I hate to see you go.

 

[Don Monfils]

I had a close call last week on a job.
The customer ripped up their own hardwood and we laid 3/8” underlayment and LVT.
The customer could not cut close to his new cabinets (that were just installed )...so the store volunteered me to use my toe kick saw and cut around the perimeter of the cabinets and remove the remaining hardwood ( for free)
My toe kick saw only cuts about 90%of the way through the 3/4”hardwood .
I had one piece hanging on for dear life.
I took my big flat bar and was prying it up with all my might. The piece flew up and hit me in the cheek / eye. It felt like I was punched in the face. I put my hand on on my face and felt blood.
I had a 1/2” wide gash below my eye.
Now a have a nice black eye , like I was beat like a red headed stepchild.
I was lucky it did not get my eye.
I bought a 3 pack of safety glasses yesterday.

 

[Floorist]

Hope it doesn't leave a scar. I would make the store pay the doctor bill.

 

[Don Monfils]

I didn’t go to the doctor.
It stopped bleeding after a while.

 

[havasu]

Yikes. Glad we don't need to change your name to Cyclops!

 

[zannej]

Glad it missed your eye, Don. Still not fun that it happened.

Update on the child abuse situation: I talked to the girl today & she said her brother has been putting his hands on her face to smother her & has been covering her mouth to keep her quiet while he "hurts" her (she did not elaborate on what he did to hurt her). She said that she's been telling him "no" and slapping his hands when he tries to touch her but that he's still been sexually abusing her against her will. She told her mother (who now knows it's true) & her mother spanked her for it. She's been stressed out & upset because her brother keeps hurting her & her mother won't do anything to make him stop & then she gets punished for being abused.

So, tomorrow morning we are going to take her to her psychologist to ask for an evaluation & report the abuse (they were closed on the weekend) & we're going to the courthouse to talk to a judge to report the abuse & my friend is going to request a temporary custody order to protect his daughter from further abuse. Personally I think another call should be made to DCFS to tell them that not only is the abuse ongoing, but the mother is negligent in allowing it to continue. I'm also hoping she can get a referral to a doctor who can examine her & try to determine if the UTIs she's been getting are caused by the abuse or if there are any signs of damage/injury.

Today we got up early & went to Lake Charles to get the countertops for my friend's cabinets. They were on clearance for half price but they weren't at the nearest store so we went down there instead. Also got some end caps on clearance. One of the countertops will have to be cut down to fit (they didn't have the shorter ones available) but we can use my tablesaw for that. Tuesday we'll be going to get the cabinets. I found out that the surplus place does military discount so that should help.

 

[Floorist]

A couple weeks ago I boiled some eggs and put them in a jar of jalapeno juice. Oh those are good.