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-Credit Cards
Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.


Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?"


No, sweetheart," she responds.

Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?"


"Oh, no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says.

"One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?" he asks.


"Oh, forgive me, Abie," begged Esther.

"I didn't send that one, either."


Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years.


Esther pulls away and asks him,

"What was that for?"

Abe answers, "They'll find us!"
 
When in the Navy we had what was called the 20 year box with all the nuts and bolts taken off aircraft. They couldn't be reused so we just tossed them into a waste basket for our own use. Its been 56 years since I got out and still have nuts and bolts from then. Most are fine thread though.
 
Instead of the offensive term, use the politically correct term below:
Fat ---------- Girth Endowed
Skinny ------ Caloric Deprived
Short -------- Vertically Challenged
Crazy -------- Mentally Deficient
Stupid -------- IQ Impaired
Ugly ---------- Visually Unappealing
Clumsy ------- Lacking Dexterity
Rude -------- Bereft of Social Consideration
 
Is anybody interested in a free ride in a helicopter for 4 people? I'm still looking for 2 more people to join us.
We leave early Saturday, Aug. 19 from Knoxville and will fly to Daytona Beach Florida. Once there, we will have breakfast and then on to a yacht for lunch.
Then, we’ll do a flight along the coast to Key West where we will have dinner, then fly back home.
If interested please pm me.
Preferably someone with a helicopter and a yacht, otherwise we can't go...
 

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