B.S.
Jokes
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Once upon a time, the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a dry, uninhabitable desert.
Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night."
So they created a part-time night watchman position and hired a person for the job.
Then Congress said, "How can the part-time watchman ever do his job without instruction?"
So they created a planning department and hired people to write instructions, and others to do time studies.
Then Congress said, "How will we know the part-time night watchman is doing his tasks correctly?"
So they created the Quality Control Department and hired more people -- to do the studies and to write the reports.
Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?"
So they created time keepers and payroll officer positions and a budgetary unit.
Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"
So they created an administrative section and hired more people, among them an Administrative Officer, an Assistant Administrative Officer, and an Administrative Officer and Assistant Liaison.
Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are already $1.2 million over budget, we must cut back on overall cost."
So they laid off the part-time night watchman.
Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night."
So they created a part-time night watchman position and hired a person for the job.
Then Congress said, "How can the part-time watchman ever do his job without instruction?"
So they created a planning department and hired people to write instructions, and others to do time studies.
Then Congress said, "How will we know the part-time night watchman is doing his tasks correctly?"
So they created the Quality Control Department and hired more people -- to do the studies and to write the reports.
Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?"
So they created time keepers and payroll officer positions and a budgetary unit.
Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"
So they created an administrative section and hired more people, among them an Administrative Officer, an Assistant Administrative Officer, and an Administrative Officer and Assistant Liaison.
Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are already $1.2 million over budget, we must cut back on overall cost."
So they laid off the part-time night watchman.
Nick
In Remembrance
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Nick
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Worse Punishment?
An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank.
The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out.
When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded: "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I'm stationed in Greenland, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?"
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An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank.
The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out.
When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded: "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I'm stationed in Greenland, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?"
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Alligator Shoes
An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was not prepared to pay the high prices. After failing to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, he ended up shouting "I don't give two hoots for your shoes, man, I'll go and kill my own!"
The shopkeeper replied, "By all means. Just watch out for the two Marines who are doing the same.
"So the Ranger went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. "They must be the two Marines," he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The Marine stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer. Just as the beast was about to swallow him, the Marine struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already lay. Together the two Marines threw the gator onto its back, whereupon one exclaimed "Darn! This one doesn't have any shoes either!"
An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was not prepared to pay the high prices. After failing to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, he ended up shouting "I don't give two hoots for your shoes, man, I'll go and kill my own!"
The shopkeeper replied, "By all means. Just watch out for the two Marines who are doing the same.
"So the Ranger went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. "They must be the two Marines," he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The Marine stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer. Just as the beast was about to swallow him, the Marine struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already lay. Together the two Marines threw the gator onto its back, whereupon one exclaimed "Darn! This one doesn't have any shoes either!"
Nick
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Nick
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Nick
In Remembrance
Nick
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smalljobsdenver
Member
Nick
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Nick
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shark
Nick
In Remembrance
A father spoke to his son, Its time we had a little talk, my son.
Soon, you will have urges and feelings youve never had before.
Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat.
Youll be preoccupied and wont be able to think of anything else.
He added, But dont worry, its perfectly normal its called golf.
Soon, you will have urges and feelings youve never had before.
Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat.
Youll be preoccupied and wont be able to think of anything else.
He added, But dont worry, its perfectly normal its called golf.
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Nick
In Remembrance
The one on the right is the Gov.
Nick
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Nick
In Remembrance
Wife
