I hate spelling errors... you mix up 2 letters and your whole post is urined.
Jokes
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yabba
A Butter Bar was leading his platoon cross-country across a farm field. He came across a pool of water, and saw the farmer standing nearby and asked "Is this water deep?"
The farmer said "I don't think so."
So, the 2LT proceeded at full speed and his tank sunk.
He said the the farmer "I thought that you said this water wasn't deep!"
The farmer held his hand up to his chest and said "It only comes up to here on my ducks!"
The farmer said "I don't think so."
So, the 2LT proceeded at full speed and his tank sunk.
He said the the farmer "I thought that you said this water wasn't deep!"
The farmer held his hand up to his chest and said "It only comes up to here on my ducks!"
duck
The cartoon looks a bit like Steven Wright, and sounds like something he would come up with. 
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Nick
In Remembrance
....
shoes
Apparently, I have 'boundary issues' - well, at least thats what my neighbors diary says, that she keeps in the top left drawer of her dresser...
bugs
I won the lottery and went home to tell my wife.
I said, "Pack your bags I won the lottery!"
She said excitedly, Oh my, where are we going?"
I said, "You don't understand, I said pack your bags I won the lottery."
I said, "Pack your bags I won the lottery!"
She said excitedly, Oh my, where are we going?"
I said, "You don't understand, I said pack your bags I won the lottery."
mothra
One deer to another during hunting season: "Don't worry, he can't possibly hit us from that dist . . . "
Nick
In Remembrance
The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."
The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?"
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night.. Bob sat up and watched me all night."
With age comes wisdom.
The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."
The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?"
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night.. Bob sat up and watched me all night."
With age comes wisdom.
Can I just ask everyone a huge favor? Those of you who are planning to put Christmas lights in your yards, please can you avoid anything red or blue and flashing? Every time I drive past, I think it's the cops and have a mild panic attack. I have to take my foot off the gas, slam on the brakes, put my seat belt on, throw my phone on the floor, hide my whiskey, swallow my joint, and shove the gun under the seat. It's a major drama. I really appreciate your cooperation and understanding.And it all offends me ��������
tents
starving
Nick
In Remembrance
Got the tree up ..
Nick
In Remembrance
Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.
Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behaviour. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.
He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband's Diary:
A two-foot putt .... who the hell misses a two-foot putt?
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.
Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behaviour. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.
He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband's Diary:
A two-foot putt .... who the hell misses a two-foot putt?
Nick
In Remembrance
....
