Nick
In Remembrance
....
Jokes
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Nick
In Remembrance
Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home.
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old.
You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time,
you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"
"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy,
you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran,
you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"
"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.
I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock;
no problem at all."
"Do you have trouble crapping?"
"No, I crap every morning at 6:30."
With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight.
You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30.
So what's so tough about being 80?"
"I don't wake up until 7:00."
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old.
You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time,
you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"
"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy,
you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran,
you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"
"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.
I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock;
no problem at all."
"Do you have trouble crapping?"
"No, I crap every morning at 6:30."
With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight.
You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30.
So what's so tough about being 80?"
"I don't wake up until 7:00."
I found the perfect sign for Home Depot and Lowes sales people.
Print it, spray on some adhesive and casually walk into the store and apply it to the glass doors. Double dog dare ya.
Nick
In Remembrance
....
Nick
In Remembrance
![MORE Luxury Vinyl Floor Cleaner for Vinyl Plank Flooring - Ready to Use, Daily Cleaning Formula for Tile, Vinyl Surfaces [Gallon / 128oz]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/413LZHZiqCL._SL500_.jpg)
Nick
In Remembrance
....
Nick
In Remembrance
Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with a hammer."
Wife texts back 10 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with a hammer."
Wife texts back 10 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
Nick
In Remembrance
....
While working the information desk at the local park, one couple approached me to ask what the water in the fountain was made of.
Amused I answered " Two parts hydrogen and one part Oxygen,"
The woman turned to her man and said, " See I told you it was fake."
Amused I answered " Two parts hydrogen and one part Oxygen,"
The woman turned to her man and said, " See I told you it was fake."
No nativity scene in Washington DC this year.
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Live Nativity Scene on Capitol Hill this Christmas season.
This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capital.
A search for a Virgin also continues.
There was no problem, however, finding enough ***** to fill the stable.
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Live Nativity Scene on Capitol Hill this Christmas season.
This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capital.
A search for a Virgin also continues.
There was no problem, however, finding enough ***** to fill the stable.
Nick
In Remembrance
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Nick
In Remembrance
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......
trump
Nick
In Remembrance
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Nick
In Remembrance
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Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man.
They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk. We couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."
The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"
The old man said, "Well, I thought it was GAS - but I was wrong, too!"
One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man.
They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk. We couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."
The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"
The old man said, "Well, I thought it was GAS - but I was wrong, too!"
Nick
In Remembrance
....
I love that cartoon strip.
:camping:
Daris
:camping:
Daris
